Expressing your needs might seem to be a simple thing—and it is if you take ownership of them and do only that. This is not to say it’s always easy to state directly and simply what you need. Some of the most important things about expressing our needs are what we need to leave out! Use “I” …
How to Disagree and Argue
Disagree? Argue? Are these even things we should be doing? The answer isn’t a pat ‘yes’ or ‘no’—it depends on how you are arguing or disagreeing. Arguing in a healthy way can strengthen your marriage and deepen your relationship with your spouse. The author of the best-selling book Crucial …
Communication
Every marriage needs good communication. If you or your spouse are unhappy in or with the marriage, this will be communicated in some way … attitudes, body language, decisions, even lack of communication—so why not communicate openly and honestly about what is difficult for you? Communication is …
Willingness
What is willingness? The dictionary definition might be something like “the quality or state of being prepared to do something, readiness.” In the context of Navigating Women’s Roles, we also use the concept of willingness that comes from Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT). In …
Setting Boundaries
In the previous post, we discussed the importance of boundaries in marriage. It is worth repeating that healthy boundaries lead to healthy relationships. Boundaries don’t detract from the marriage relationship, they enhance it. Eldemire (2020) puts it this way: “… boundaries aren't restricting or …
Boundaries
How do boundaries work in a marriage? What areas of a marriage benefit from boundaries? What are the advantages of having clear boundaries? According to Eldemire, “All healthy relationships have healthy boundaries. Boundaries provide the freedom to express your needs and values …
Self-awareness
Why is self-awareness important? When how we see ourselves aligns with reality, and with how others see us, we are more apt to have successful relationships. George, et. al. discovered that “positive illusions diminish relational satisfaction. The only setting in which benefit occurs is when …
Self Identity
We have written about the three identities in a marriage, and about the need to keep all three going, and growing. Since the wife is the partner most likely to “lose” herself in the marriage, let’s dig a little deeper into the importance of her (and his) individual identity. A worthwhile read is …
Identities in Marriage
Yes, you read that right – “identities”. Not just because we all have multiple facets of our identity, but also because marriage involves three—or four—identities. Each person brings an individual identity into the marriage, and those identities become part of “us”—the couple, and then possibly the …