We often change over time, and hopefully that change is growth. It’s possible for one spouse to feel betrayed—or possibly left behind—if the other has changed significantly, especially if they feel that the other spouse has changed to be less committed to the marriage. A better outcome is that …
Then and Now
After marrying, you may begin to wonder about the person you were before marriage. Is that person still valuable? In fact, where is that person? Have you lost track of her? What was it like when you were first attracted to your husband? Undoubtedly something about him piqued your interest. That …
Role Changes
Whose roles change the most after marriage: his, or hers? A century or more ago, a woman might not have lived on her own, or been in the workforce before marrying. By 1998, 70% of single woman participated in the workforce. In 1900, only 6 percent of married women worked outside the home. Among …
Identities in Marriage
Yes, you read that right – “identities”. Not just because we all have multiple facets of our identity, but also because marriage involves three—or four—identities. Each person brings an individual identity into the marriage, and those identities become part of “us”—the couple, and then possibly the …
Balancing
A typical thought that arises when women feel the uncertainty of how to deal with competing aspirations and goals is that “something has to go”. Either I must simply resign myself to being ‘stuck’ in a marriage, or I must leave the marriage in order to do or have other things that are important to …
Navigating Women’s Roles
The Life Skills Weekly blog is shifting from general life skills to look at a very specific topic: how women can navigate their various roles within a traditional marriage. Women’s roles and possibilities have expanded drastically in the last 100 years. It is no longer a given that women …
Lifestyle Balance
Thinking back on 2020, it has become abundantly clear that lifestyle balance plays a big role in our ability to maintain not only our physical health, but also our mental and emotional wellness. During lockdowns and stay-at-home orders, we have learned how much it means to go outside, to …
Using Resources
As we wind down this year of Life Skills Weekly, what resources are available going forward into 2021? Self-development and learning need not end with the year. The blog contents will still be available. You can still access them by scrolling back through “previous posts” in the blog, by using …
Environmental Support
Routines are useful to provide a sense of familiarity, as we mentioned last week. They can also be used as cues to help us do the right thing at the right time. Once a routine, or a habit is established, our brain can put that activity on autopilot, so that it is easier for us to do it without …
Coping with Change and Uncertainty
The year 2020 brought events and situations that none of us could have anticipated. Dealing with change and uncertainty is often difficult, and we have had a year like no other full of changes and unknowns. Studies have documented the profound effect of the pandemic on mental health and offered …
Resiliency and Flexibility
When it comes to coping with life’s challenges, resiliency and flexibility have some things in common. One of the dictionary definitions of resilience is the ability of a material to return to its original shape and size after being compressed or deformed. Hard, inflexible material has little …
Coping with a Pushy Person
Seriously pushy people are called bullies. You can probably imagine the tough kid on the playground, literally pushing people around. Most pushy people we interact with are boundary-pushers—people-pushers in the figurative sense. They are trespassers who do not recognize or do not respect …
Gratitude
The Thanksgiving holiday is a time when we typically think about all we have to be thankful for: family, friends, plenty, etc. But did you know that the simple act of frequently noting a few things we are grateful for can be a significant mood-booster? When we adopt gratitude as an everyday mindset, …
Forgiveness
Forgiveness is something we do for ourselves. Forgiving ourselves, first of all, and then others if we choose to, allows us to set aside the weight of hurt, anger, resentment and shame that weighs us down when we have felt hurt or wronged in some way. We can even build up resentment by not taking …
Resentment
Just as life often holds scrapes, breaks, strains, and accidents which affect our bodies, so our emotional lives and relationships often hit bumps. Sometimes cracks appear, which need to be mended. Sometimes walls are erected which keep us from communicating and furthering a relationship. Sometimes …
Group Problem Solving
If you are in a situation where several people need to decide something or come up with a plan, there’s a strategy that can help things flow smoothly while giving everyone a voice. It works like this: Use a notebook to record the details and …
Relationship Skills
Relationships can be enjoyable and helpful, or stressful, and are almost always some combination of both. Relationships take work. Being more skillful is like sharpening a cutting edge – the work is easier, and we are not working as hard to get the results we want. Being skillful in our …
Mindfulness
What is mindfulness? Mindfulness is the practice of bringing our awareness to the present moment, without judgment. We are usually taken up with our thoughts and feelings and reacting to them as we think and feel them. Mindfulness is a way of being in the present and simply observing ourselves. …