Several weeks ago, we took a jump up to the 30,000-ft level for an overview of coping skills. We discussed how thinking, emotions, and behavior all affect each other. Then we examined some specific thinking skills, emotion regulation skills, and behaviors, and how we can use them. Now it’s time to jump up to a 30,000-ft. view again to set our sights on some additional strategies we can use to help us navigate life’s challenges more skillfully.
Some of these, like developing good personal boundaries, help make every other coping skill more effective—and we need them in interpersonal relationships of all kinds. Others, like keeping a journal, help us develop a greater awareness of our thoughts and feelings. Others, like forgiveness, help us to move past conflicts and problems from the past that may be holding us back. Some of these we apply on a very personal level, while other skills help us to cope in relationships. Some are things to be aware of and develop over time, and others are practical tips we can apply and see benefit from immediately.
Some of the more personal activities can give us greater insight and greater understanding of ourselves. Through understanding and accepting where we are, we gain the possibility to better define where we are going, and even change “the story we tell ourselves” and potentially the narrative of our lives. These very personal skills of self-introspection and self-acceptance require willingness to stop and examine our inner thoughts and beliefs. This may not come easily, but can help us develop greater self-compassion, and the ability to take care of ourselves amidst life’s challenges. Otherwise we may find ourselves simply reacting to others’ emotions or living according to the demands and wishes of others without fully participating as ourselves in our own lives and in our relationships.
Just as behaviors can influence our thoughts and emotions, so we can also help ourselves through interventions such as mindfulness, meditation, or breathing exercises, that help to ground us in our bodies and in the present moment.
The skill of knowing when we need others’ help and being able to ask for it is important. Also, knowing when and how to modify our environment to our advantage is helpful.
Consider the various kinds of coping skills as they are presented each week and experiment with them. You are sure to find some that “fit” and that you can practice for your own benefit. After all, whatever our challenges, who couldn’t use a few more coping skills?
Now, on to the subject of Boundaries.